Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Do you ever marvel

at how stupid you actually are? I find myself in constant shock in relation to my lack of intelligence. I'm not smart. I like music and movies. I love to read. And my biggest wish in the world is not be here/hide away for the rest of my life with my movies and music and books. Now, some people are just meant to be intelligent. Other aren't. I mean someone has to be average. I guess that's me. Average grades, no discernable unique qualities, average looks, average everything. I'm the kid that people look at and go, "Atleast I did better than her....sucks for her....". As I look around me, people I know have found things they excel at.

The only thing I semi excel at is makeup. WHOOPDIE FRICKIN DOO. That's a good life skill right there. This is even being down on myself, like YOU tell me that 70s and low 80s aren't average. YOU tell me how it is evident that I do excel at sports, art, writing, etc. BAHAHAH what a joke.

Hell I don't even have a personality. People may say, 'Of course you do!'. Oh really? Try and describe without the words loud, talkative, center-of-attention. It's damn near impossible. Do people know that I'm actually quite shy? And that maybe the reason I talk so much and so loudly is because I don't WANT people to like me. I want them to think I'm annoying. And they do. They really do. Its easier to be alone and do what makes my head happy, and my colors happy.

You could know me forever, but you don't me at all. For example, very few know that I was put in a crazy house for a week. Nobody knows that I am really a waste of skin who can only find life in the creations of others.

In the end, I'm glad nobody likes me. Because what's the point anyway?

No comments:

Post a Comment