Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Note to Marissa again

DARN MY COMPUTER NOT ALLOWING ME TO COMMENT
And yes, it is normal. There is a difference between wanting to committ suicide and thinking about it (hehe you probs knew that but this is where I will go off in a tangent with my random knowledge about human brain chemistry because I can)
If you have thought about it and are worried about what it would do to your mom or whatever, you will never do it. Ever. Suicide is a decision made completely for oneself, and thus is every bit selfish. Of course it's NORMAL to ponder death.
But if you ever:
-Lose any desire to do anything
-Start overeating or undereating and losing weight (yeah...)
-Always get sick (depression makes you immuno suppressed)
-Lose sleep (yeah...me again) or sleep excessively
-Lose ability to concentrate
-Racing thoughts
-Cry more than once a week
-Lose weight


In conjunction with your musings of suicide, I have news for you : YOU ARE OF THE POOJA ILK. But I know you are not that way.
But to spare being a drama queen, there are always those periods of time where I have SO much energy and it's sort of awesome.

(end of section where I brag/bitch about my knowledge of serotonin and dopamine)

ANYWAY
I had no idea it was possible for me to HATE life so much. Sometimes, I think it would be easier to live in my dreams. But I guess I have to find one freaking thing to cling on too and that's my friends.

As I read over that, I seem REALLY emo. I mean it's not like I have cancer or herpes (btw, Schmadam's ex girlfriend Marcella has HERPES. Like LEGITIMATELY.I KID YOU NOT)
I find that INSANELY AMUSING. In a cruel, twisted, sadistic manner.

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